2010 Drama 24M views 2 years ago Uncle Monty - the end of an age ohheckforgotusername 157K views 11 years ago Withnail & I 30. Suits me. Marwood: Jesus Christ! I adore you. He told me about your problems. Look at Geoff Woade. grant . Thought I was going for a minute. And I've come in here with the express intention of wishing one on you! Marwood: ", Oh! Withnail: I didn't think he'd come all this way. Danny: We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. [pulling back the lace curtain] She said she'd closed. The Coalman had to go to Jamaica. Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. Withnail: I think we've been in here too long. 2 pound 10 a tit and a fiver for his arse! Withnail: Quotes.net. Marwood: Marwood: Well, lick 10 percent of the arses for me, then! Let him get his drugs out. echosmith cool quotes lyrics kid song yah crowd she straight lyric follow quotesgram sees them lines bord kiezen he sydney I will say one thing for Monty, he keeps a sensational cellar. Withnail: Don't threaten me with a dead fish! If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. If I see that silage heap hanging about up here, *I'll take the bastard axe to him*! I must have some booze. Marwood: You never discuss your family, do you? Required fields are marked *. He doesn't have any friends. These are the best withnail and I quotes. I don't want to hear anything. He can eat his fucking radish. Get out of it for a while. Now, would you leave? Something's got to be done. Or do you shut yourself off from new experience? [after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm] Yeah, I know, but I got the logs in. Oh, Baudelaire. I couldn't, I'm spaced. The meaning dawns on him. I've been to drama school. Withnail: Lets take a look at the following list and find out the best Withnail and I quotes. Monty: What is it? All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Marwood: You'll all suffer! If he comes into my room again, it's murder, and you'll be held responsible in law! I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. Little tarts, they love it! Imagine getting into a fight with the fucker! It has felt like listening to a symphony and here comes the crescendo. Withnail: Why don't you use a cup like any other human being? Something's got to be done. Monty: [after a phone call with his agent] I've always been fond of root crops but I only started to grow last summer. Director: Bruce Robinson Stars: Richard E. Grant, Paul McGann, Richard Griffiths Rating: Unrated Runtime: 107 minutes Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Danny: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present! Yes, but if it rains, we're buggered. "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." You're looking very beautiful, man. He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning! "Withnail and I Quotes." I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. Withnail: It's those dreadful beady eyes, they stare you out. Withnail: Why can't I get on television? withnail. When I strike they won't know what hit them! Danny: Uncle Monty: Go with it. Hair are your aerials. Withnail: Withnail: He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning! The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. Withnail: You lose, you gain Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. Rejuvenate. No fridges, no televisions, no phones! But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing. You never discuss your family do you? *Get-in-the-back-of-the-van*! [narrating over scene] You got a rush. [the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down]. The beauty of the world! It's a bloody chicken! The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it. The bastard's about to run at me! Withnail: Withnail: No you won't, you're not leaving me in here alone. What should we do? Oh, my boys, my boys, we're at the end of an age. Marwood: It's full of brilliant quotable lines: "We've gone on holiday by mistake!" "My thumbs have gone weird". I would say. Chin-chin. Danny: Relax, man, find your neutral space. If your father was my father you wouldn't get it. I say, you know what we should do? It's ridiculous. How you feel. I'm preparing myself to forgive you. Marwood: Withnail: Then why has my head gone numb? Oh, bollocks to the Wellingtons. Marwood: Especially that little pimp! Withnail: Richard E. Grant Is Making Self-Isolation Fun With Classic 'Withnail www.bbcamerica.com. We'll tell him they had a farmers' conference and had a run on them. This is me naked in a corner! I'm starving. Keep your bag up. Brings back such memories of Oxford. Marwood: Oh, how I tried not to. hide. [cockily] An old woman with a clunky hearing aid pinned to her apron opens the door]. I've only had a few ales. What the fuck are you talking about? That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. When they take a holiday "by mistake" at the country house of Withnail's flamboyantly gay uncle, Monty, they encounter the unpleasant side of the . And that's why you mustn't hold back, let it ruin your youth as I nearly did over Eric. I'm utterly arseholed. I want something's flesh! Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. Danny: This boy's been out there frozen to the marrow and you just sit in here drinking. Two out-of-work actors -- the anxious, luckless Marwood and his acerbic, alcoholic friend, Withnail -- spend their days drifting between their squalid flat, the unemployment office and the pub. [high-pitched voice] Danny: Marwood: I'm getting the *fear*! Danny: Ponce! Belongs to the fellow downstairs. Jake: Withnail: Sinew in nicotine base. Do you know, when you first came in here I knew you were a services man. Withnail: Hold on, don't let your imagination run away with you Marwood: Imagination! Withnail: If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Flowers are essentially tarts. Man delights not me, no, nor women neither. He's a madman. We've gone on holiday by mistake. Withnail: I might come and see you lads in the week. I've no idea. Withnail: Why don't you use a cup like any other human being? Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. I can never touch meat until it's cooked. withnail magazinweb. His head must weight fifty pounds on its own. Withnail: I'll be sprouting bloody feelers soon. The purveyor of rare herbs and prescribed chemicals is back. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! share. Withnail and I completed its run in 1970. What goods the countryside? Half an hour? Nonsense, this is a far superior drink to meths! Monty: [in a telephone box, speaking to an operator] Who says it's a Camberwell Carrot? And for once Im inclined to believe that Withnail is right. Sherry? Withnail: Look at my tongue. The fucking kettle's on fire! How dare you! St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. Even the wankers on the site wouldn't drink that! Clip from Withnail & I Rest in happy peace Richard Griffiths ! I assure you I'm not, officer. Uncle Monty: (referring to his cat) Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! He'd like a bit of pleading. Danny: No, man. Night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. How can it be so cold in here? Bastard must have died. We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. Withnail: This was more like a long white hat. How noble in reason, how infinite in faculties! Withnail: Marwood: God fulfils himself in many ways. Withnail: [Heckles pedestrian] Throw yourself into the road, darling, you haven't got a chance! Listen, Monty, there's something I have to explain to you. Hairs are your aerials. Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. [Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff] This is a court, man. Withnail: Irishman: Get that damned little swine out of here! Withnail: by Anonymous: reply 16: February 3, 2021 10:58 PM: I've gone on holiday by mistake. What's it got to do with you? Listen, I don't know what my f acquaintance did to upset you but it's nothing to do with me. Let him get his drugs out. Withnail: Tea Shop Proprietor: We live in a kingdom of reigns, where royalty comes in gangs. 'He used to pick on me. General: How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader! Offer him yourself. Jake: Monty: Look out that window, if you see anything, anything at all, tell me. Withnail: You've had an audition. Danny: Withnail: I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch] Withnail: [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] We mean no harm! Here.". These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! reading, studying, and reflecting this history have led to this moment. You can never, never disguise it. Withnail: Would it be in bad form to plagiarise a toast? Let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Hare. The carrot has mystery. Monty: The purveyor of rare herbs and proscribed chemicals is back. Withnail: Now, look, you. He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning. Dealt with them? Get into countryside, rejuvenate. [reading graffiti] An expert on bulls you are not! Monty: Easily Withnail: Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. Yeah, I know that, you've got to kill it. Withnail: Must be 20,000 sheep up there on those volcanoes, we've got a plate full of carrots. Danny's a genius. You've got a rush. The "I must sleep with you because I've been scared" - convenient isn't it, when you're both half or . "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." For reasons I can't really discuss with you. Withnail: Withnail: The man was fined $10,000 and was ordered to pay $1,843 in restitution to Maine. Rubbish. [a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback]. This ain't fancy dress." This doll is extremely dangerous. Scrubbers! The fuel and wood situation. [shouting at his cat] Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness! Withnail: Stop saying that! What have you found? Murder and All-Bran and rape. We want to get in there, don't we? Locations, see. My heart's beating like a fucked clock! I think it's time to release you from the lgumes, and transfer your talents to the meat. [overtaking a car on the motorway] Jake The Poacher: I been watching you, 'specially you, up on them moors prancing around like a tit. Well, I'd hardly say that. Marwood: You lead him astray. [takes pill out of doll] Trade: Pheno-dihydrochloride-benzorex. Danny: I don't advise a haircut, man. Marwood: (Voice-over) Thirteen million Londoners have to wake up to this. Do you like to experience all facets of life? He winces as he stretches his leg]. I want to see about digging the car out anyway. What the f*** are you talking about? Just say there are a couple of drunks in the Penrith tearooms and we want them removed. Headhunter to his friends. Monty: Withnail and I Quotes. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! We get in there and get wrecked, then we'll eat a pork pie, then we'll drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each. The thermostats. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. Withnail: There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this f***ing mountainside! Jesus, look at that. Withnail: Search, discover and share your favorite Withnail And I GIFs. I'm good looking. tags: humour, withnail-i. [voiceover] It's wearing a yellow sock. You haven't got a chance! Uncle Monty: Here hare here here hare here! [casually lighting a cigarette] Withnail: Right you f***er, I'm going to do the washing up! Hello? I think an evening at The Crow. If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. Marwood: These aren't accidents! Withnail: There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! It's impossible, I swear it. Withnail: We do it wrong, being so majestical. The sky's beginning to bruise, night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. Withnail: Don't you agree? Danny: There can be no true beauty without decay. Find your neutral space. Danny: Well, that can't be sensible, can it? A pair of quadruple whiskies and another pair of pints, please. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Look at that, accident black spot! Monty: Depends entirely on the quality of the wine. [Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note], Monty: Withnail: Voila! I know where you are, you're at Crow Crag. Throw yourself into the road, darling! I must be ill. Withnail: Right, you f***er, I'm going to do the washing up. What are we supposed to do with that? Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. Your desires. Withnail: For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. I have just finished fighting a naked man! Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this fucking mountainside! Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering. Hello? Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). He can eat his ****ing radish. Marwood : No, no, you can't. It's impossible, I swear it. Politics, man. [holding him back] Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. Withnail: Who fucks arses? If I lay 10 mils of diazepam on you, it will do something else to your brain. What had I done to offend him? He wants to get down there and have sex with those cows. Well, it's not my fault if the system doesn't work! Ive absolutely no interest in yours. My heart's beating like a f***ed clock! Withnail and I is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Look at him. Monty: Withnail: Monty: It's available on Withnail: He's going into your room. Press J to jump to the feed. Marwood stands there, petrified, the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting, he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. Marwood: No you can't, listen to me, listen to me! Quotes.net. Withnail: (Stirring) I deny all accusations. [after trying the Camberwell Carrot] To offer it the show of violence", [as Monty continues to recite the line from Hamlet, Marwood gets up and whispers in Withnail's ear]. Withnail: Withnail: Will we never be set free? How like an angel in apprehension. How noble in reason! Danny: I happened to be looking for a suit for The Coalman two weeks ago. If you don't leave, we'll call the police. We've gone on holiday by mistake. [Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet], Withnail: Listen, I think you should strangle it instantly in case it starts trying to make friends with us. Not the attitude I'd been given to expect from the H.E. Sod your pheasants! I don't know what's in here. You bloody fool, you should never mix your drinks! Withnail: We've gone on holiday by mistake. It's all your fault. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Uncle Monty: I've been preparing myself to forgive you. It has voodoo qualities. Here, I dont want it. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. Marwood: It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane. Monty: Dosed 'em. Don't threaten me with a dead fish! And here we are, we three, perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. The only people he converses with are his clients and occasionally the police. [calmly] Talk. Monty, Monty! Do you mean you've been up here in all this beastly mud and oomska without Wellingtons? Black puddings are no good to us. [voiceover] Withnail: Where is he? quotes military heroes famous quotesgram. I know you're not asleep, boy. I'm the firelighter and fuel collector. Why can't I have an audition? Monty: Its landlord was a retired alcoholic with military pretensions and a complexion like the inside of a teapot. It's horrible really but they like that, the little girls. Your email address will not be published. Any minute now he's going to rush out and get into his tights. Prostitutes for the bees. [after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. If I hear more words out of you, I'll put one of these here black pods on you. Hurry up, Mabs. Were incompatible. There is a certain je ne sais quoi - oh, so very special - about a firm, young carrotExcuse me Uncle Monty: I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary! And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. *Bastards*! Sulking up the hill. Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. You won't keep us anywhere. Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. Marwood: Jesus Christ, this huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. Monty: "Withnail and I Quotes." How can we make it die? Stop saying that! It can utilise up to 12 skins. I tell you, I've a fuck sight more talent that half the rubbish that gets on television. You need working on, boy! Marwood: He's right, Withnail, look at him! Withnail: You're looking very beautiful, man. Marwood: Danny: Yes, as a matter of fact I have. Why can't I have an audition? [eyes filling with tears] If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. Monty: Here grows the plant Assidos, which, when worn by any one, protects him from the evil spirit, forcing it to state its business and name; consequently the foul spirits keep out of the way there. Marwood: Marwood: [a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick]. An expert on bulls you are not! Withnail: I mean look at us! I could take double anything you could. Do as he says. Withnail: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present. Withnail: Nonsense, this is a far superior drink to meths! Burnt! Listen, Withnail, it's a stinker. We want the finest wines available to humanity. Change down, man. Alas I have little more than vintage wine and memories. Withnail: Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Change down, man. Marwood: I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! You been away? Followed by yet another anecdote about his sensitive crimes in a punt with a chap called Norman who had red hair and a book of poetry stained with the butter drips from crumpets. Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. Monty: Here hare here. [sticking out his yellowy tongue] Why have you drugged their onions?! You want working on, boy. Marwood: Withnail:I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! [pointing at a table] All right, Miss Blennerhassett, I'm warning you, if you do, you're fired. Marwood: It used to give him bad tempers and act up said his wife. Quite freaked me at the time. Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! Finally, the Withnail And I script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Richard E. Grant movie.