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97,343 The three other suspicious deaths linked to killer Alex Murdaugh and his family Dear All, My dad starts seeing a woman from his work THE NEXT friggin day, I hear them have sex the first week after mom dies, this has been very traumatizing to me and my grieving. Fast-forward a bit, and I am now 20 years old. I have been there and am still there after many years. Next time I will let him get written up, its his responsibility to take care of this house. I feel she doesnt want us to grieve for him, but rather for her. Well. Dont think you know it all, because it is your first time, too. That was almost 3 years ago. They will be getting married September 10. Other folk have mentioned sexual details being mentioned and we had that also. I also strongly believe in letting a respectable period of time pass before beginning new liaisons, because these events affect everybody in the family, not just the parent this needs to be understood by parent and child. She was so quiet and boring, nothing like my mom at all. She started her career at the Creative Artists Agency in New York City in the celebrity commercial endorsement group. Your counsellors attitude is beyond comprehension! I can never reach him on the phone in the evenings (we live in two different towns). So very sad. Its almost like hes loving that he gets a new woman. No soon after I started to notice her trying to get physcially close to my father. They were married 6 years when Dad died. Everyone grieves whatever amount is right for them. Would I really want to bring more pain to the family and use the excuse that he deserves to be happy as if the girlfriend is the only way a man of 76 could be happy? We never get any notice just a call to say shes coming or gone. I sat there stunned. Ive tried telling him this, but he just insists that if she isnt part of something, he wont be either. How to get a good woman. I told him there is no solution and its something we are going to have to deal with as issues arise. Someone help me with this. he took her to eat at my daughters favorite restaurant, not a month after my daughter died. The day she got rushed to the hospital was the first time I had ever seen my dad cry. I had also cried too many nights when I see him suffering for the hurtful things that they had done or said to him the few times that they talk or argue. While reading some of the behaviors of the GFs, I felt very bad for some of you, I understand where you are coming from.. I thought my feelings of anger and hurt were unfounded. His response about this has been so offensive that is has resulted in some family members wanting to not have any further contact with him. They consider that he has destroyed the family and he has betrayed them because we are going to get married. I dont understand her and I never will. Recently, she was invited to family function by my brother (who did not tell me). My dad died in March. I wouldnt have even known, except I checked on the plan today to find it all for me to see.. She is also apparently data-greedy.and has used almost 2 gb of our shared 6 gb data in 10 days what the heck is she streaming? Even if this new romance proves long- lived and even if the person turns out to have an admirable and loveable character- the damage has been done. Thanks for allowing me to do so. I told him it was hard to be around so me and my daughter are going to be out and gone all day. Don't like this guy and suddenly at different. I am glad I came across this website and Im not alone. When my dad died my mom was also at quite a loss. One year later (almost exactly), my dad told my sister and I that he was engaged. What the actualI have three cells (mine plus kids) and a landline and probably pay less than $200 - Canadian. I WAS SO RELIEVED!! These things may be forgiven but a person cannot erase the pain from their memory unless they have memory loss. I suggested talking it out. I found this website yesterday. It felt like he was choosing her over his family. Life is raw, real and will make you feel every emotion and that is okay. He was supportive with my Mom, but also caused my Mom some pain and sadness towards the last few months of her as he simply could not understand why she would not eat. Ten weeks after my mothers death this woman began coming to stay in the house.I cannot describe the awfulness of that time. Then he moved a hour away with Marsha for the summer where it is cooler and and they were living in an RV, but them she bought a cabin. I almost swallowed my own tongue after hearing him say that. What do I do? I mean really? I don't know if it helps, but if you do ever want to just spout out, feel free to PM me. I, too, was very close to my mom. My father has no friends so thats why hes so desperate to be with her. Ellen has the strangest relationship with her two adult sons, or at least it seems strange to me. Im not his gatekeeper. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. She was my age and plastic-surgeried from head to toe. 3 weeks later he started dating a woman 15 years younger than he from church. I can love my life I had and respect that I need companionship and passion in my new life. And $400/month for a phone bill? Required fields are marked *. His name is on the plaque beside my Moms in the church cemetery so I assume he will be buried beside her and I certainly hope so. Not once did she admit any wrong doing or remorse for her callusness or for disrespecting my mothers memory. Obviously, a liver issue meant the cancer was in more than 1 organ by the time she knew. Not. Giggling and judging other people to make themselves feel superior. She is also my age (53). Their union spanned 30 years and they have an adult child. To me that is the ultimate low in character. He is planning on having some woman, who he has only met less than 2 months ago on a chat messenger program, stay in the house and attend our Thanksgiving family function (the first one since my Mom passed away, which is almost too hard to bear right now). He wanted to come here with her and I said no. Last year I suggested that he started dating. All the things they believed about their parents lifetime of loving are shattered. My daughter said to me yesterday when I was offering to explain something about my father Id rather not know because the situation either makes you angry or sad. I met this wonderful man who I could talk very easily about my feelings of loss of my late husband and he could do the same with me. Yet he would not want me to stop living, and he would not want for me to be unhappy. I told him flat-out that if he did want to be alone for a bit, which is fine, that he needed to be very careful of the difference between grief, and self-pity. However, the engagement and upcoming wedding (December 1st!!) I live in a different city than my dad, so I think it hit home for him when he could see how physically upset I was. She is very capable of independence, but not immediately. Firstly, I speak as an Englishwoman married to an American who has only recently after almost 25 years of marriage taken joint citizenship! Then on Thanksgiving he brought her to my house. Sometimes she doesnt see him for 3 weeks at a time. Not trying to be a prick here - but if you could do and IAMA after this ordeal is over I would appreciate it for one as it will show me how people get on with their lives after a loss of soulmate. It's really, devastating sadness that people grow old and suddenly at Years ago my beloved grandfather, John, had a stroke. He was in the ICU for a month and came out of the hospital with physical disabilities and dev Now his girlfriend tells him all he wants to hear all while on top of all this being a covert b word only to me, leaving only my dishes (like one) that was mine while doing others, or locking the gate I come in so I have a problem or saying how she hated her own mom, never has she attempted to make me feel better or talk about my mom, I hate her more than anyone Ive ever hated before. I wish you the best. So now I am stuck with discovering my new relationship between my father and myself where we barely talk to each other, and see each other less. Oh how I wish I had found this website after my Mother passed,18 months ago. Are you my twin? You can continue to struggle against the choice your father has made, or you can seek ways to help yourself accept this new situation. Its like I lost my family. This situation has eaten up so much of my life and energy that I would have loved to have avoided it. That seems ridiculously expensive. The complete opposite. If I was there I would give you a hug.Listening as you work things out is the best thing a friend could do. It will do no good. I wanted to scream, youre only able to say that since my MOM is dead.. Needless to say I didnt sleep all night and sent my father a heartfelt email telling him how I felt about the situation. I asked where is this all coming from he says he has the need for speed. This is a tough time, since you are grieving and also trying to help someone else who is grieving. Add to this that she and my dad (who had been seeing each other) over the course of a couple of months and broke us, got back together, broke up, got back together. You must decide yourself. I have 4 kids (teens) who I am being very honest with but careful not to introduce anyone as a replacement for their mother no one will ever take that place. I agree that we just feel the way we feel. Then a few weeks it was Im thinking about marrying her I completely felt he just erased the last 26 years with my mother and is replacing her with this stranger. In addition to adjusting to life without parent who has died, you now have to also deal with the surviving parent/step-parents relationship choices which will surely impact you directly and in-directly. Honestly, Id rather stick a fork in my eye than talk to her. I lost my dad who had a great relationship with me for 50+ years.. My kids had a great grandpa for 15+ years. He used to return my calls and now that is no longer the case. For me, it shows a lack of regard to go out and re-marry within a year of your spouses/partners death. This is how our family learned that he married her. Now, less than a year after my mom died, here was my dad taking a woman out for Valentines Day? I just found this websitereading through all your comments made me feel better.I am not the only one feeling lost and angry! I am not that kind of person. Fathers should be there for their daughters and their grandchildren versus pouring your energy into a complete stranger. Ive watched Ive watched several of your videos tonight. Before he left, he promised he would only be a phone call away. I want to also invite you to take some time for yourself. I want to get her out of the house, but she isn't wanting to go anywhere lately. Think of this before you jump into another involvement. We maintain the house, pay all the bills and its our home. However that does not mean the living spouse is to stop their life. She lives about 20 minutes away. You have an alcoholic father and an abusive mother. Sorry, kid. You're best on your own. Actually, you would be best with your chosen family, the c Im 14 and my mom passed away this year from breast cancer, and it was really hard on me because i was so close to my mom, not very close to my dad or brother. By letting go, you are taking control of your life rather than letting your emotions control you. Good luck. Of course, I dont know the whole story (maybe he approves? Millions of my name to deal with her, my step father. However, he has been pretending for the past few months that this older lady (probably about 10 years older than him) has just been buying gifts for my niece and making him food all the time because she feels sorry for our family. My parents had been happily married for 43 yrs. and he needs to be aware of that. She is constantly at my house spending the night for days and even up to a week at a time staying at my house. She had to go to AT&T and get my dad taken off of our cell phone plan, and they kept transferring her to other people and she kept having to explain what had happenedI was really upset that they put her through that; it seemed so insensitive. I think that he is more worried about himself than us kids.Which I know that we are old enough to take care of ourselves but I feel that we need to be together right now. Told my parents to come here and live at not charge except maintenance and taxes on house , and that they could stay there forever. But for right now I am ok with at least being able to see my father periodically and trying. My parents were together for 40 years. My sister does not like her because she thinks they were going together before my Mom even died, or soon after and kept it a secret. Joanne- I think that was uncalled for- especially when everyones situation is different. You cant just erase them from the face of the earth. I explained to him that Ill miss him because I wont ever be able to make the trip due to my financial situation.